For much of human history, and across cultures, grief was tended in community. People gathered in time-honored ways to weep, sing, move, pray, witness, and remember together. Grieving was not just something to survive. It was an essential part of how communities stayed connected to one another, to the ancestors, to the land, and to the sacred.

This retreat is an invitation to remember and practice something of that communal way of grieving together. Over two days, we’ll honor our grief and gratitude through talking circles, song, poetry, movement, sacred listening, time in nature, shared food, and ceremony. At the heart of our time together will be a communal grief ritual inspired by teachings shared in the West by Dagara elders Sobonfu Somé and Malidoma Patrice Somé.

Our work is also informed by Francis Weller’s Five Gates of Grief, which offer a framework for recognizing the many forms of grief we may carry, including:

• Everything we love we will lose

• The places that have not known love

• The sorrows of the world

• The things we cannot even name that we ache for

• Intergenerational or ancestral grief

• The harms we have caused (recently added)

Communal grief ritual gives us a chance to reach for one another and find the support and courage to turn toward what needs tending. By listening to others, we often find words for what has felt difficult to name. And when grief has somewhere to go—when it can be witnessed and held in community—it can begin to move.

This offering is experiential and embodied. Rather than trying to analyze or explain our grief, we’ll practice staying close to what is happening in our hearts and bodies. Grief may show up as tears, numbness, anger, shame, trembling, silence, stillness, laughter, wailing, or something else entirely. There is no right way to grieve here, and no grief too big or too small to be welcomed.

Participation is always invitational. There is no expectation that your grief look or sound a particular way, and you will always have choice about how deeply you participate. You may express, witness, rest, receive support, step back, or simply be present.

Our ritual is held within an earth-honoring spiritual framework that recognizes relationship with the natural world, our ancestors, and the unseen. Song, rhythm, beauty-making, time on the land, and communal ritual help support this container. You do not need to hold any particular spiritual or religious beliefs to participate.

You can listen to a 1-minute video of Sobonfu Some speak on Grief Recovery and Ritual, or learn more about community grief work at Northwest Grief Tending.

14 participant minimum | 20 participant maximum

We’ll begin by slowly building our community container—sharing, creating agreements, calling in support, and crafting beauty together. As Martin Prechtel reminds us, “Spirit eats beauty” – so when we grieve together, we get on our knees to create a feast. We call in help through beauty offerings of song, poems, altars, flowers, tears, and other creative expressions. 

In the afternoon, we’ll sit with whatever is alive in our hearts, connecting in small groups and spending time in nature. The flow of the day will guide us deeper into our hearts and community connection in preparation for the evening grief ritual.

Evening Grief Ritual

The evening will be devoted to our communal grief ritual—a space where grief can be expressed more fully than it often can in everyday life, held by song, drumming, a grief shrine, and the presence of others. For many, there is something deeply powerful about grieving in this way: witnessing one another, offering our voices and presence in support, and allowing our body’s natural expressions of grief and fury to belong within something ancient and beautiful.

We’ll invite you to listen inwardly and notice how your grief wants to move when it is given permission and space—something rarely offered in our culture. This may take the form of tears, movement, dancing, wailing, anger, silence, stillness, or something else entirely. We’ll offer guidance, grounding, and containment through this process, and participation is always invitational.

On Sunday, we’ll have time to share and make meaning of our experiences from the evening ritual, with additional opportunities to visit the grief shrine. We’ll gradually turn toward reintegration through practices that help us transition out of ritual space and carry forward what we’ve received from our time together.

In-Person Course

Questions?
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